Don't Mess With Kids!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl
stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,
"Then you ask him ".




A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a
beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a
minute."





A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father
and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."




One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at
her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought
about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of
grandma's hairs are white?"




A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in
the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow
shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."




The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made
a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all
you want. God is watching the apples.