Not Tonight Honey

> I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
> much.
>
> FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
>
> The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel
> like it, I just want you to hold me."
>
> I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
>
> So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
> hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
> enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
>
> She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
>
> for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"
>
> Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
> sleep...
>
> The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
>
> her. We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big
> department store. I walked around with her wh ile she tried on several
> different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take
> so
> I told her we'd just get them all.
>
> She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get
>
> a pair for each outfit".
>
> We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
> diamond earrings.
>
> Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
> wave short of a shipwreck.
>
> I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a
> tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
>
> I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."
>
> She was a lmost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
>
> Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
>
> dear, let's go to the cashier."
>
> I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
> feel like it."
>
> Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
> "WHAT?"
>
> I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
> You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
> to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
>
> And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
> "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
> you?"
>
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.